This picture of me and my mom popped up in my FB memories today and punched me in the gut. The thing about Alzheimer’s is that it robs you of your loved one in small bits, day by day, one little thing at a time, so that you almost don’t notice for a while. Then one day you realize that although your mom is physically standing in front of you, she is no longer the same woman who raised you. She no longer reads or gardens or even remembers being an avid gardener, doesn’t remember the impact she made as a social worker, or the rules of her beloved Scrabble. A friend of mine called Covid trauma “the death of a thousand cuts” and I realized this morning that also describes Alzheimer’s. Every day we lose her a little more, with a different cut. Being with her now means looking out for her and taking care of her, and while I don’t mind that, I miss her so much already.